My Experience of “Bion’s Emotional Links: Love, Hate and Knowledge with Judy Eekhoff”
By Richa Sharan
I was not expecting to be so immersed in experience!
I was very fortunate to attend the seminar by Judy Eekhoff on Saturday (September 28, 2024).
Dr. Eekhoff distributed her paper on Bion’s ideas around love, hate and curiosity prior to the scientific meeting. The core ideas explored were about how emotion links body and mind and links us to each other; how love, hate and curiosity relate to passion; and how passion drives the ability to connect to another. The paper discussed how these emotions intertwined in health and how their imbalance led to distress. The bottom line was that without an emotional connection, passion was not possible, and ideas were empty. I was looking forward to discussing the metapsychology of these concepts. The case presented in the paper well illustrated the concepts being discussed and generated more questions. The case of a man who was emotionally difficult to reach reminded me of people I have treated. The paper was to be read ahead of the session and Dr. Eekhoff would be presenting her ideas without reference to a written guide. I was intrigued by the novelty of a spontaneous presentation. In fact, I have always found this type of presentation more engaging.
For a number of reasons, as I drove to the meeting, I thought about why I attended these meetings, what did I really look forward to. I know that the information presented would make me think and help me think more abstractly about my patients for a while. I enjoyed playing with ideas. Yet, I knew that I rarely retained any of the information from conferences for very long. So, if I wanted to learn anything I would be better off reading a book or reading several papers about a concept. So why was I taking precious time to go to the meeting? What I came to was that I really looked forward to connecting with the people I had not seen for awhile. The people that I have gotten to know in brief moments at the scientific meetings or during the business meetings, and if really lucky, sometimes in other contexts over the course of years. I wanted to catch up with them, even if only briefly. What I hoped for was the chance to deepen those connections. And what I wished for was the unexpected connection that changed something. Without knowing it my thoughts, and more importantly my emotions, were mirroring the content of the paper.
At the meeting Dr. Eekhoff allowed her voice to carry her ideas rather than being broadcast over the speakers. In a refreshing and engaging approach, she gave numerous real-life examples from her life and work to illustrate the concepts she was describing. And because she did not have a script her ideas flowed spontaneously, maybe organically. Then she asked the group a most unexpected question: “how are you feeling in this moment?” She was asking us to be present, not to speculate, not to rationalize, but to comment on our emotional state. We were able to stay in this framework for a time. It set a tone. In the next part of the session she continued to be warm and welcoming, again offering many illustrations from her own life to convey her ideas. I found myself more passionate about what people were discussing and more hopeful about the possibilities of knowing the people in our psychoanalytic society.
The above events started another train of thought. I thought of how I had come to understand that I can engage with clients in an exploration that is all about keeping me at a certain distance, and not about gaining a new understanding of themselves. It is an illusion that kept us engaged while I tried to understand how a real engagement was being avoided. I thought this might be what happens at many scientific meetings, where we engage in intellectual discussions while hoping for a more emotional connection. I also thought that when there is some kind of emotional connection, it lends passion to the intellectual material.
I felt that I got the chance to live the material Dr. Eekhoff presented. It felt profound and unique. I am certain this was the atmosphere she was working to create. Having lived it, I can imagine that if we, as a society, enhance our emotional connections, our ability to feel and react to one another, we will increase our creativity and our passion as a group. That would be something worth working towards even if we hold onto it for only brief moments at a time.
I thank Dr. Eekhoff because I will remember this material and this experience.
Richa Sharan
17 October 2024
